Hi everyone ! As the title states, in this blog post I am going to provide feedback on my peers’ pitches for their digital narrative project.
Be sure you are comfortably seated, because Company #3 has some big projects coming !
Makara’s project : The Land of Sanctity
What I really liked about Makara’s pitch was that from the first slide of her presentation, thanks to her choice of pictures, you understood immediately what it was about : the aboriginal culture. She then managed to convey the concept of her project : a 360-degree video that serves to show the potential tourists how to respect the aboriginal on their lands, specifically in famous sites such as Uluru. Usually, warning addressed to the tourists are not really effective because they are written on signs people can easily ignore, which is why I find the use of a 360-degree video interesting, because as a new media form it is intriguing and can attract the attention of the general public. Moreover, it is particularly immersive and can manage to convey the message more efficiently by creating an emotional connection to the viewer.
I feel a bit frustrated on one point though. The presentation was very succinct as is the point of a pitch, but I wish it included a mock up of an interface so that we could see how the content would look like from the viewer’s perspective, and how the interaction with him or her would play out.
Mona’s project : What if one day there is no more infant formula for ‘your’ baby ?
This one is a bit harder for me because I feel like I did not really understand the phenomenon at the root of the project. It was very precise, with some very specific words, and I think Mona could have taken more time explaining the problem because I felt a bit overwhelmed during her pitch, trying to keep track of what was said. However, in retrospect I think I understand now, but I will have to check with her next week : the situation is that companies buy massively infant formula from local stores, leaving them empty for the families that need them in these areas, while these families may be the ones who provided it in the first place.
If I got it right, then I think it is a really interesting subject because it is the kind of economic practice you don’t hear about in the mainstream media despite its gravity. In this regard, I like how the title is aimed at generating a reaction from the viewer.
Mona seems to have a precise idea of both the form and the content of her project and I find it impressive. She is passionate about it and already thought of many aspects, such as taking into account both English-speaking and Chinese audiences by allowing the viewer to choose the language they want and to share it on several platforms.
However, I am worried about the feasibility of the project, which to me seems rather big and complex to tackle, especially from Australia. But Mona seems truly engaged so I would not be surprised if she had already thought about it and come up with solutions.
Shena’s project : Samsara
I have something to confess: stories revolving around time-travel are my weakness. I really love the possibilities they give in terms of character dynamics and plots. I also think it is particularly appropriate for this kind of digital narrative because you can do a lot in terms of interaction with the player by building a dramatic tension surrounding his or her choices.
About the presentation itself, I think Shena may have spent too much time detailing the plot of the game while I would have liked to hear more about the gameplay and the system of points she mentioned. If I understood it correctly, by making “good” choices, you gain points and in the end your number of points dictates the ending. I think it is a simple yet efficient system, but I would like to know more about it. Is there only one type of points, and if you pass a certain threshold you win, otherwise you lose ? And if I “get along” very well with a certain character, but another becomes an enemy, will that have the same impact of the story as if I just stay “neutral” with both of them ?
I really liked the idea of time circling on itself with the best friend in the future building the notebook that saved her, and I wonder if Shena intends to find other ways to play with time. Life is Strange is an amazing game, quite different from what Shena plans to do, I think, in terms of gameplay, but the main theme is quite similar : manipulating time to save the main character’s best friend. She could look into it to see how it was handled. And as I am talking about gameplay, I found the images used in the presentation to be really pertinent : “RPG” is quite a broad term and can encompass many types of games, but the screenshots that were shown managed to convey what it meant in this case and how the game would look like.
I wished Shena would have talked a bit more about the personality of the characters, as she said that was one of the key feature of a good text-based RPG game.
Lyn’s project : Butterfly Effect
With « Butterfly Effect », Lyn wants to make a webseries following a multilinear story in which each of the six storylines would be linked by seemingly innocuous objects, and lead to a tragic global final event.
I love this kind of stories, and here I find particularly interesting how Lyn wants to focus on objects instead of simply lining up the scenes or following the characters. From my experience, these kinds of multilinear stories usually focus on the characters and how they can easily affect each other, by using the different narrative segments to portray different points of view. These is the case for example in Gus Van Sant’s Elephant which I appreciated seeing among Lyn’s examples because it managed to efficiently convey the building of the tension towards the tragedy that the viewer knows is coming. So, in the case of Lyn’s project, I like the change in focus : the story is non-longer character-driven but is instead pushed forward by the little, apparently random things.
About the presentation itself, I found the diagram explaining the structure of the story to be clear and successful in translating the concept of the project. However, the detail of the storylines maybe should not have been fully included in the pitch, because there was too much information and it was written in too small letters. I think quick summaries of the characters and events would have helped more. Some pictures could have been an asset, too. As it is, I have trouble visualising how it is supposed to look like, it terms of decor for instance.
I also wonder about the feasibility, because if I remember correctly, Lyn talked about a truck accident. This sounds quite difficult to film at our level, so it may be a problem. But I am in no way a filmmaker, there could be some way to do it using after effects or other tricks. I will have to ask him next week.
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